*sigh* my heart hurts whenever i see how much things have changed over time. label me as being sentimental now, i can get upset and nostalgic sometime.
seeing how a robust, strong and humorous ah gong of mine turned to so frail, sick and weak, i'm starting to fear for the worst. don't call me pessimistic, but the fear of death, be it yourself or anyone, will always linger around our mind. thanks god for blessing my ah gong with a healthy life, and for blessing him to be doing fine now. i was quite troubled and confused what to do when my sis just sms-ed me this,
"urgent, call mummy."
i thought what could have happened. then when i heard my mum's voice, she was in tears. she told me ah gong was admitted to hospital. i guess when i went back to class, the people around me can sense it. i just couldn't wait for lesson to end. was sms-ing people to cancel programmes for the day. and sorry for being rude if i ignored and just walked away, but my heart was just there at the hospital. i was afraid that i couldn't see my ah gong last moment, or vice versa, but touch wood anyway.
after lesson i just rushed down to hospital. was quite relieved at first to see my relatives weren't in tears. first positive sign. then got all the details and felt more relieved. thanks to people who smsed or called. appreciated that. so, i just waited and accompanied my ah gong for the rest of the time before coming back home.
sad to say, the patient beside his bed died just now. his family members were crying. i cried like a fountain when my cousin died, which till now i don't know the reason and don't dare to bring up the topic. i remembered how i fear death when i came home from my paternal grandfather (gong gong)'s funeral. even though i only twice in my life, once when i was younger and the second at his funeral, he's still my ancestor after all. i still would like to make an effort to go for every qing ming in m'sia. i still would make an effort to go see him on the mountains whenever possible if i go to m'sia.
death is such a sensitive word that everyone fear.
and i promised myself to stay strong after my cousin's funeral. i promised myself to try and stay calm, not to tear terribly if ever anything happen.
lately i sense that people around me has their own issue with death too. sam's bro, feli's uncle, carol's grandparent. this seems like a phase in life which everyone has to go through.
i still want to drink the teh my ah gong make.
i still miss the half-boiled eggs i have with my ah gong when i was young.
i still want to have the same youtiao porridge that my ah gong make.
and i want to celebrate more bdae with ah gong.
and many more....
please ah gong. stay on..
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
unpredictable
" But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over
Hold on" - Good Charlotte, Hold On
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over
Hold on" - Good Charlotte, Hold On
gee what a sudden twist life can get. received quite a number of sad news this week. life is so unpredictable. so much to say, yet those are beyond what words can describe =/ anw cheer up people! we have to move on...
common test is coming, so i guess i won't update that often.
meanwhile, just some pics from MC camp..
MC Magnum Force. LOL!
bA Society 07/08
the very faithful bus which i talked to a transvestite.
MC soccer squad. LOL!Thursday, May 24, 2007
walk on
so liverpool lost. saddening, they played well, except for kuyt =/ alright congrats to all milan fans, but i still think liverpool deserve to win. oh well, next year then. we will continue to walk on, like the anthem plays.
"walk on, walk on,
with hopes in your heart;
and you'll never walk alone,
you'll never walk alone."
with hopes in your heart;
and you'll never walk alone,
you'll never walk alone."
haha. okay, got this random test from siti nurshirle. let's see how well you all know me! =)
Create your own Friend Test here
bye peeps. next time upload pic again!
Create your own Friend Test here
bye peeps. next time upload pic again!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
eh.. wad sia?
woots i'm back from camp~
haha this MC camp was a knock out! seriously fun and exciting, all thanks to winson and mel! =) all of us bonded quite well with each other, making new friends and such. games were fun, especially the mind games we were playing against each other tring to guess who's who's for the angel and mortal game. hah!
started off with a bbq in the evening, chalet style. haha.. was bbq-ing all the while, well quality control. haha kept checking if the food is cooked not. poke here and there, den open up all the hot aluminum foil to check if the seafood is cooked not. oh ya that stupid number games. zz made everyone felt so dumb. yea some of the lecturers came, and im surprise that juniper lee, or i should start calling him by his new name andrew lee, remebers me. haha. ahoy capt! yea and nathan jo still remembers me. heh, and he kept calling me the cook. =/
second day was more about games and more games. haha icebreaker and interaction were cool. totally owned the cheers. haha.. the animals game is like the most addictive game in MC now.. haha so we played all the well, with flours all over our body. treasure hunt was great, lots of fun and well, was practically running up and down of town area. heh, had quite a traumatizing moment with 4 "er-hem" on the bus. omg they almost scared the freak out of me..
night cycling. first time, i cycled all the way from one end to the other and almost back to the other. haha.. aimless cycling but it was fun. almost saw some spectacular scenes, shall not elaborate.. but my butt still hurts now. hah!
anything else.... oh ya! meetings! heh high morale meetings! yay yay! but details shall not blog it too. haha.. all the stupid photos and videos taken during meetings, games and other random shots, shall publish again when i get it.
im going to shop for files and organiser soon. and better, a digicam! =)
haha this MC camp was a knock out! seriously fun and exciting, all thanks to winson and mel! =) all of us bonded quite well with each other, making new friends and such. games were fun, especially the mind games we were playing against each other tring to guess who's who's for the angel and mortal game. hah!
started off with a bbq in the evening, chalet style. haha.. was bbq-ing all the while, well quality control. haha kept checking if the food is cooked not. poke here and there, den open up all the hot aluminum foil to check if the seafood is cooked not. oh ya that stupid number games. zz made everyone felt so dumb. yea some of the lecturers came, and im surprise that juniper lee, or i should start calling him by his new name andrew lee, remebers me. haha. ahoy capt! yea and nathan jo still remembers me. heh, and he kept calling me the cook. =/
second day was more about games and more games. haha icebreaker and interaction were cool. totally owned the cheers. haha.. the animals game is like the most addictive game in MC now.. haha so we played all the well, with flours all over our body. treasure hunt was great, lots of fun and well, was practically running up and down of town area. heh, had quite a traumatizing moment with 4 "er-hem" on the bus. omg they almost scared the freak out of me..
night cycling. first time, i cycled all the way from one end to the other and almost back to the other. haha.. aimless cycling but it was fun. almost saw some spectacular scenes, shall not elaborate.. but my butt still hurts now. hah!
anything else.... oh ya! meetings! heh high morale meetings! yay yay! but details shall not blog it too. haha.. all the stupid photos and videos taken during meetings, games and other random shots, shall publish again when i get it.
im going to shop for files and organiser soon. and better, a digicam! =)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
anticipate
MC camp tomorrow. looking forward to it, all the fun and laughters and bonds to be make. sadly i missed out frisbee today, but will join them soon anyway. haha.. alright shall pack my bag for the camp soon..
meanwhile, having a clearance sales now. sales of tutorials and projects that is.
meanwhile, having a clearance sales now. sales of tutorials and projects that is.
offload!
opportunity cost
yea we face this very word almost everyday. sacrificing something for other. well i must say i am very lucky to have a caring boss. i know its repetitive of me to keep saying this but, i don't think i can find any other boss like him. ohwell, yea he agreed to me working only during weekend, to allow me to commit my time in school for academic and society stuffs. =) a load off my shoulder.
alright i think i better go sleep first. tomorrow's lesson at 8am. i mustn't be late again this time...
alright i think i better go sleep first. tomorrow's lesson at 8am. i mustn't be late again this time...
Monday, May 14, 2007
play it hard
*phew* i think i manage to cool off from last night ramblings. thinking back, i didn't expect it to get on my nerves so bad. haha i also did not sleep well last night, still unable to digest the fact about it. but never mind, i shall give grace, until the situation seriously get out of hand. ahh let's drop this subject.
today i'm kinda happy yay! maybe it's because i was feeling down today, so today compensate for it and be extra high. i was like chirping so happily today morning when i met shuxian, and then subsequently to everyone even though i only had 2hrs plus of sleep last night. and for the first time i paid attention during AAA tutorial and, well, finally understand some part of it. double yay!
and today after sch went to play bball awhile before heading for frisbees. well must say that i haven't been playing bball for long. felt much refreshed. and frisbees after that was great. learning a new game like this is great. was really fun, but tiring though to run up and down the field. hah.. nvm it's a good exercise anyway. i have also been jogging for the past few days. woots exercising keeps you happy.
oh my dad's bdae just past. well i only know it like when i reached home from school after receiving the call from the insurance agent. shows how significant bdaes are in my family. hah..
you never know what i'm capable of.
today i'm kinda happy yay! maybe it's because i was feeling down today, so today compensate for it and be extra high. i was like chirping so happily today morning when i met shuxian, and then subsequently to everyone even though i only had 2hrs plus of sleep last night. and for the first time i paid attention during AAA tutorial and, well, finally understand some part of it. double yay!
and today after sch went to play bball awhile before heading for frisbees. well must say that i haven't been playing bball for long. felt much refreshed. and frisbees after that was great. learning a new game like this is great. was really fun, but tiring though to run up and down the field. hah.. nvm it's a good exercise anyway. i have also been jogging for the past few days. woots exercising keeps you happy.
oh my dad's bdae just past. well i only know it like when i reached home from school after receiving the call from the insurance agent. shows how significant bdaes are in my family. hah..
you never know what i'm capable of.
bottled up
okay people. i'm going to vent out all my frustration and anger in this post. for all those who are sensitive to a blog entry with lots of vulgarities, you can leave now and hopefully, see a brighter follow up soon. for all those who do not expect me to do this seriously, expect this; for alli care about now. call me a gangster or what, it doesnt really matter anyway now..
FUCKING HELL! i just cannot bear this anger in me anymore. knn... i knew it all along that you do not deserve any sympathy. well, i did not fucking pitied you anyway. you have to thanks my dear friend who, was still naive at that time to believe you. it's like so fucking drama about you, your mum, your bf, your best friend and your story. so what? poor till you cant pay back bookie is it? that's your own fucking stupid problem! your best friend supposedly drive you into the wall eh? well then you think she deserved your friendship again? so poor that you have to borrow around 1k plus of cash? then sell away your fucking smelly n80 and skip those extravagant gifts and those high tea and dinner at those expensive restaurants! you can go fucking be a slave at the factory and work those hours away to pay back. if not a better way to earn money, go be a whore, hong kan your way through for cash. you aren't any better than them anyway.
chao cheebye. i expected this fucking lame excuses and twist to come when you should be paying it back. just that i didn't expect the situation to be this bad. what pay back every month to my friend? where are the fucking cold cash eh? knn.. you can work almost everyday in a factory but pay back around only a meager $50 per month. and for more than half a year you only paid back like what, $200? maths fail is it? 6 X $50 = $300! wtf is this eh?
you better watch out. i dont know if you will be reading this. or your friends will be reading this and tell you. i am giving you enough grace by not chasing you over this and posting your name in here. but you are trying to reach the limit by not replying to my dear friend eh? try me, i'll make you famous. don't force me to contact my brothers and friends, you will suffer. nabei cheebye. im trying to control the amount of profanities in this entry. i need an outlet to pour it out.
thanks huijun anyway for listening to this even though your team lost. well, too many things in me now. too many mixed feelings in me for various stuffs. i need to sort them out. need to settle them quick. arghhh!
FUCKING HELL! i just cannot bear this anger in me anymore. knn... i knew it all along that you do not deserve any sympathy. well, i did not fucking pitied you anyway. you have to thanks my dear friend who, was still naive at that time to believe you. it's like so fucking drama about you, your mum, your bf, your best friend and your story. so what? poor till you cant pay back bookie is it? that's your own fucking stupid problem! your best friend supposedly drive you into the wall eh? well then you think she deserved your friendship again? so poor that you have to borrow around 1k plus of cash? then sell away your fucking smelly n80 and skip those extravagant gifts and those high tea and dinner at those expensive restaurants! you can go fucking be a slave at the factory and work those hours away to pay back. if not a better way to earn money, go be a whore, hong kan your way through for cash. you aren't any better than them anyway.
chao cheebye. i expected this fucking lame excuses and twist to come when you should be paying it back. just that i didn't expect the situation to be this bad. what pay back every month to my friend? where are the fucking cold cash eh? knn.. you can work almost everyday in a factory but pay back around only a meager $50 per month. and for more than half a year you only paid back like what, $200? maths fail is it? 6 X $50 = $300! wtf is this eh?
you better watch out. i dont know if you will be reading this. or your friends will be reading this and tell you. i am giving you enough grace by not chasing you over this and posting your name in here. but you are trying to reach the limit by not replying to my dear friend eh? try me, i'll make you famous. don't force me to contact my brothers and friends, you will suffer. nabei cheebye. im trying to control the amount of profanities in this entry. i need an outlet to pour it out.
thanks huijun anyway for listening to this even though your team lost. well, too many things in me now. too many mixed feelings in me for various stuffs. i need to sort them out. need to settle them quick. arghhh!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
crashing down on me.
someone please buy me a alarm clock. or perhaps give me money to buy it. haha.. abit pantang over here..
i hate morning lessons. lucky most of them are lectures, but i can even be late for tutorials. like wtf? hopefully PID and EC tutor can slack abit give me my attendance.... i'm praying hard for it. hopefully life in bA society can help train my punctuality, and perhaps accountancy.
ya, i am the asst treasurer of bA society. had meeting last night, most of the posts was quite a walkover, other than some which needed voting. ohwell, haha the people there are quite, alright. i think that it's because we have not open up to each other, still not familiar with the people around.
after that had late dinner with mingjie, sherwin, huijun, shuxian, carol and shirle at alzhar. left the MC people at KAP to meet them. ya.. so we ate, and joked, and of course camwhored. hah!
.JPG)
fishball cheek!
i teased ah du!
shuxian was hiding behind rod. spoiler..
i hate morning lessons. lucky most of them are lectures, but i can even be late for tutorials. like wtf? hopefully PID and EC tutor can slack abit give me my attendance.... i'm praying hard for it. hopefully life in bA society can help train my punctuality, and perhaps accountancy.
ya, i am the asst treasurer of bA society. had meeting last night, most of the posts was quite a walkover, other than some which needed voting. ohwell, haha the people there are quite, alright. i think that it's because we have not open up to each other, still not familiar with the people around.
after that had late dinner with mingjie, sherwin, huijun, shuxian, carol and shirle at alzhar. left the MC people at KAP to meet them. ya.. so we ate, and joked, and of course camwhored. hah!
.JPG)
fishball cheek!
i teased ah du!
shuxian was hiding behind rod. spoiler..haha. next week will be a very busy week for me. mon frisbee trial, tues society meeting. fri to sun MC camp. hopefully all go well... =)
Thursday, May 10, 2007
two-sided? three-sided? or more?
it's interesting how one piece of face can make out so many expressions. a heart that has many different feelings, a man with many different sides. sometime after knowing someone for too long, we began to uncover those dirty little secrets that had been hidden in the dark. either that person has changed for the better, or he's putting on an act. yes i know everyone has their own past, some that are not really presentable for others to know. i also had my own bad past and experiences, but that's also what made me learn to distinguish between good and bad. guess i really had enough of this nonsense. i tried to be neutral to you and you exploited my trust. i tried to help you but i dont think i will now. bloody fag the thing that i hate most is someone lying to me. so yea, kinda disappointed over two different incidents of two people. name i shall keep to myself, those whom know who i am referring to also keep to yourself.
okay, poured out the angered in me. now is the confused state. talked to my dad just now over the ITP stuffs. well, he is fine with me going oversea, but he asked me to choose carefully between M'sia and Vietnam. he say he'll respect the decision i made and help me out if i have any problems. so which should i choose? well i need time to consider about it first, maybe consulting different people too.
oh by the way, just received a call from wanqi to notify that i got into MC. so elated upon hearing that, cause campus life will never be the same again for me. hah! thanks for those who sent your congrats flying from any form just now. really appreciate it =D
okay, i was reminded that i haven post pictures for long. yea, so mon and tues were like passing by. lectures were alright, AAA was dry and boring as usual. PMKT was "omg we don't understand a thing and we can never really meet" and IEF was interesting as always. yea, also stayed back to do projects, kinda like not really kicking the engine running smoothly yet, but i'm sure i can switch on the turbo power soon. hah okay lame. then went to have dinner with some of the people over at westmall pastamania. cheesy people eat lotsa cheese. haha okay let the picture speaks a thousand words;
okay maybe just one picture for now. the others are still with sherwin and he still owe me my ah du.
okay, poured out the angered in me. now is the confused state. talked to my dad just now over the ITP stuffs. well, he is fine with me going oversea, but he asked me to choose carefully between M'sia and Vietnam. he say he'll respect the decision i made and help me out if i have any problems. so which should i choose? well i need time to consider about it first, maybe consulting different people too.
oh by the way, just received a call from wanqi to notify that i got into MC. so elated upon hearing that, cause campus life will never be the same again for me. hah! thanks for those who sent your congrats flying from any form just now. really appreciate it =D
okay, i was reminded that i haven post pictures for long. yea, so mon and tues were like passing by. lectures were alright, AAA was dry and boring as usual. PMKT was "omg we don't understand a thing and we can never really meet" and IEF was interesting as always. yea, also stayed back to do projects, kinda like not really kicking the engine running smoothly yet, but i'm sure i can switch on the turbo power soon. hah okay lame. then went to have dinner with some of the people over at westmall pastamania. cheesy people eat lotsa cheese. haha okay let the picture speaks a thousand words;
okay maybe just one picture for now. the others are still with sherwin and he still owe me my ah du.
Monday, May 07, 2007
bom bom pa~ bom bom bom pa~
hahaha! yea i'm so happy now. finally after 3years of dreaming for a drum set i finally have it. though it's second hand, but it's like almost complete with extra cymbals, books, sticks and brushes, mufflers and many more! whee~ so high now, cant wait to set it up. but i need to wait for my dad to move his cabinet away, and add the curtains and carpet. woohoo~ i cant seem to hide away my happiness don't i? hah!
and today my mum sorta like agree to buy me a digicam! double yay! haha, cause i told her i'll be joining photography and i need one. then she went, "i am willing to spend on anything that is useful to you." wah i was like a little bit dumbfounded at first, suddenly i felt so loved. oh well.. yea, hoping to get it soon, then i can camwhore and take interesting shots around Singapore!
oooh lalala~ i guess i better stop here. there's an accounting quiz tomorrow and i'm not yet prepared. guess there'll always be a price to pay for everything. hah! anyway, congrats to all man utd fans. they won the epl. i shall be waiting for 23rd may.
"walk on, walk on with hopes in your hearts
and you'll never walk alone
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE~"
and today my mum sorta like agree to buy me a digicam! double yay! haha, cause i told her i'll be joining photography and i need one. then she went, "i am willing to spend on anything that is useful to you." wah i was like a little bit dumbfounded at first, suddenly i felt so loved. oh well.. yea, hoping to get it soon, then i can camwhore and take interesting shots around Singapore!
oooh lalala~ i guess i better stop here. there's an accounting quiz tomorrow and i'm not yet prepared. guess there'll always be a price to pay for everything. hah! anyway, congrats to all man utd fans. they won the epl. i shall be waiting for 23rd may.
"walk on, walk on with hopes in your hearts
and you'll never walk alone
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE~"
Friday, May 04, 2007
look into the mirror
"and the most difficult part of it, is to forgive yourself" Aunt May, Spiderman 3
there's this one thing that i hate myself for. that is punctuality. it's like sometime, even the most important thing, i can be late. i am seldom early, to the extent that those who are close to me will know they have to set an earlier time to meet me so that i can be "punctual". i don't know how or why, but that is just me. i seriously need to kick this stupid habit of mine. kcuf it! i am seriously, sincerely, sorry for those who have waited to me before, despite my nonchalant attitude when i am late. this is not an emo entry by the way; i am just self-reflecting.
alright so i watched spiderman 3 last night. the show was, pretty okay, maybe because i did not really catch the first two sequels. still, i prefer to watch those movies that set you deep into thoughts, movies that make you think. but it was still quite fun last night with the company i had. more outing with GY next time yea!
hmmm.. guess i'm getting moody now. thought that there will be E-Learning for my IS but there wasn't! so rather stunned to see the sms Rod sent me in the morning about us getting a warning letter in our school's mailbox for missing lesson. it's like the whole cohort has E-Learning, so i took it for natural. it's partly my fault, damn it.
i think i better sign off from here, to prevent me from typing anymore profanities in here. shall update again soon, and hopefully in a brighter mood =/
there's this one thing that i hate myself for. that is punctuality. it's like sometime, even the most important thing, i can be late. i am seldom early, to the extent that those who are close to me will know they have to set an earlier time to meet me so that i can be "punctual". i don't know how or why, but that is just me. i seriously need to kick this stupid habit of mine. kcuf it! i am seriously, sincerely, sorry for those who have waited to me before, despite my nonchalant attitude when i am late. this is not an emo entry by the way; i am just self-reflecting.
alright so i watched spiderman 3 last night. the show was, pretty okay, maybe because i did not really catch the first two sequels. still, i prefer to watch those movies that set you deep into thoughts, movies that make you think. but it was still quite fun last night with the company i had. more outing with GY next time yea!
hmmm.. guess i'm getting moody now. thought that there will be E-Learning for my IS but there wasn't! so rather stunned to see the sms Rod sent me in the morning about us getting a warning letter in our school's mailbox for missing lesson. it's like the whole cohort has E-Learning, so i took it for natural. it's partly my fault, damn it.
i think i better sign off from here, to prevent me from typing anymore profanities in here. shall update again soon, and hopefully in a brighter mood =/
Thursday, May 03, 2007
the kop choir
yes liverpool won! so happy! alright chelsea pack your bag and sulk all you want. hah!
okay i'll be watching the milan-manu match later with 3 manu fans beside me. plus one more online. and meeting more tomorrow. so whether i am able to have a good day or not, depends on the match le. omg..
anyway, while watching last night's match, i was like in awe of the crowd there. i really want to feel the atmosphere again, where everyone will cheer for one side, where cheers become song, and all move as one while waving their hands, united as one. one day i shall travel to anfield and feel the atmosphere.
hmm, actually i find that though how sarcastic ief tutor can be, she's actually quite kind in a sense that she wants us to be able to excel in our EQ. hah.. and what she said was quite true; selfish people. a sudden thought just filled my mind but i am not going to blog about it =/
oh, i'm now also considering if i should go to m'sia for my ITP. shall discuss with my parents about it. oh well.. back to the company!
okay i'll be watching the milan-manu match later with 3 manu fans beside me. plus one more online. and meeting more tomorrow. so whether i am able to have a good day or not, depends on the match le. omg..
anyway, while watching last night's match, i was like in awe of the crowd there. i really want to feel the atmosphere again, where everyone will cheer for one side, where cheers become song, and all move as one while waving their hands, united as one. one day i shall travel to anfield and feel the atmosphere.
hmm, actually i find that though how sarcastic ief tutor can be, she's actually quite kind in a sense that she wants us to be able to excel in our EQ. hah.. and what she said was quite true; selfish people. a sudden thought just filled my mind but i am not going to blog about it =/
oh, i'm now also considering if i should go to m'sia for my ITP. shall discuss with my parents about it. oh well.. back to the company!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
people expect changes.
yay! i'm quite happy now, that my father finally did some changes to my room. actually there's much changes, and my room looks more organized and neat now. heh, now awaiting for more changes. oh and i finally had the home fragrance oil running. now my room smells so fresh! woots! okay, seems like i cant hide my joy..
well, i'm also rather in a dilemma now. cause i just saw a second-hand drum sales ad. now i'm spoilt for choice, driving license or drum set. omgomgomg! if only i can win lottery like right now. or someone whom i not close with inherit a fortune to me! argh.. the world evolves around money, so do i. sounds so different from my previous post eh?
okay lame. got to consider and make a decision soon.. oh and later Liverpool going to face Chelsea. hope that the Reds will win lah, cause i absolutely don't like chelsea =)
well, i'm also rather in a dilemma now. cause i just saw a second-hand drum sales ad. now i'm spoilt for choice, driving license or drum set. omgomgomg! if only i can win lottery like right now. or someone whom i not close with inherit a fortune to me! argh.. the world evolves around money, so do i. sounds so different from my previous post eh?
okay lame. got to consider and make a decision soon.. oh and later Liverpool going to face Chelsea. hope that the Reds will win lah, cause i absolutely don't like chelsea =)
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