emo... not

*sighs* bAoc ended like, 3days ago yet i'm unable to forget about the memorable time spent, even if all the fun really comes in the the meagre 3days of orientation. seriously, this is the only time other than my wild days and secondary school days that i feel real nostalgic about.

call that affinity.

seriously, recalling back when we signed up for bAoc, its only a mere coincident that we were in group1, now also know as Gusto Yamataikoku. it's just a random choice to write our names down quickly and have lunch earlier, but never did we expect to have so much fun and joy in working as a team and those friendships that we bonded and the company that we shared.

now that i had so much fun in bAoc, i'm asking for more. that's us human; we are never really satisfied. well, i'm sure that i will most probably be signing up for bAoc once again if felicia runs for SCO. it was fun working with her and im looking forward for another chance. unfortunately one thing that sets me back is my work.

i work for money, don't everyone really do? but i also work for the gratitude and loyalty for my boss, for the care and concern he and my colleagues give. those who are real close to me will know how awkward it is for me to even open my mouth and ask for more than one off per week, lest to say quit working unless i'm out to my wits end.

then again, i want to be more involved in campus life! i want to join a cca, i want to join events that will expose me to more stuffs and experience more! i want to get to know more friends, being the outgoing and extrovert nature of me. i want this i want that, but there's a limitation to it. we all have our own responsibilities but we also only have 24hours a day, 365 days a week.
*p.s. i also want to learn license.

now is the question. am i going to see another year almost wasted in studying and slog my after school hours working or am i going to work lesser and get involve in campus life and experience new stuffs. i'm in such a dilemma even though i know it's pretty obvious that almost all of you will ask me to choose the latter. *sighs* it's now that i don't want too, but i'm in an awkward position to choose..

okay, school starting tomorrow, gotta turn in early. at least i let out all these thoughts and feelings out instead of coping them in my heart, i'm scare of getting heart disease. now i need to rest before sorting out my thoughts. anyone who seriously wish to help me sort out my thoughts can feel free to talk to me either in person, on the phone or when i'm online. goodnight world, i really need to rest..........