my home? or just like another hotel?

well just reached home. and my sis asked me a favour which sent me into somehow a mix between laughter and sarcasm. "can you pls pack your room? i need some space to store the boxes"
well.. not tt i mind her using my room to store the things that she's gg to send over to those less priviledged pple in Bago, Phillippines. it's for a good deed and i would be ever more delighted to contribute this space temporarily.

but then again i looked into my room and figured out smt. other than the desk, two-third of the wardrobe and my bed, the rest of the stuffs doesnt even belong to me. it's like somehow an irony to have a room of your own yet filled with a lot of other stuffs. simply zz.. yes my room was a store room before my parents decide to let me own it. but isnt it a little bit way too long for them to have their stuffs in here. some of the things are like 10yrs ago and they still cldnt bear to throw it away. another funny thing is tt my parents still asked me to pack my room. well i tried; and whenever i wanted to throw away some of the stuffs, my parents wld be like
"dun throw it! we can still use it"
yea use it. and its in the corner of my room feeding on cobwebs. zz.. well they did somehow try to clear it.. dumping away a few boxes and adding more soon after. totally wasted efforts.

those who had been to my hse and my room had seen it for yourself. you would had seen those boxes lying abt in front of the full length mirror. and it defeats the purpose of the mirror. coz when i stand in front of it, i cannot see anything below my knees. hah.

so now i know why i rather spend the night away outside or at my fren's hse. and my mum even has the cheek to ask me why i dun wanna come back. zz i dun even has a sense of belonging here. other than my bed, my com, my table, my clothes, the sofa and the toilet. other than that.. its a veh complicated thing to say.

sad to say, i feel more of a sense of belonging at my brother's hm. im too lost for words for the feelings and attachment i had to my bro's hm than mine. my home is just like a hotel nowadays where i come home to bathe and slp. and come online of course. how sad family life can be hur? zz.. i dun even think my parents know wad i am doing nowadays other than working and gg out. ohmy im growing envious or rather, jealous to those pple who have such caring and patience parents lah.. it's like veh frustrating and awkward for me to come back home. no sense of belonging i guess. haizz..